Sunday, August 16, 2015

adult life

      Sitting here in Starbucks and starting a new book, old memories are flooding my mind. This is one of places where I used to study. Can't believe I have been a nurse for three months already.
      Still feel weird that I actually don't need to study for school any more (at least for now). Adult life is definitely another world. For sure. I was in school until 25 years old. Growing up isn't fun. Actually it is scary. Looking at those kids who were tiny but now all are bigger and taller, I just can't believe. When I was little, I always wondered how my life would be when I grew up. At that time, being an adult was a mystery to me. Now, I know being an adult has lots of responsibilities--paying bills, managing finance, thinking how to live better, and families.  
     In China, it's very common to pay parents back when you are earning money after school. It's not a must. But it is a thing that you will do as a grown up. Most Asian parents pay for their kids till college. So it is very reasonable to give money to your parents after working. My sisters have been doing that since they started to work. 
     Speaking of my family, I have super two cute nieces now!!! 
 
      It is crazy think how much time I have missed to spend with them. My 2 year old niece Livia already knows how to use iphone! Every time we facetime, she will kiss me and hug me through the phone, and then says "byebye" and touches the "end" button to end the conversation. lol. She is so smart and learning everything! My other niece, 6 months old Xinxin, of course she doesn't recognize me. She was born when I wasn't there. Sometimes it is sad to think that my parents are getting older and older and my nieces are growing up also but I am like 7000 miles away. People always ask me where I will be living or working in the future, back to China to settling down here. The future is mysterious. Remember? Being an adult is a mystery. We never know what is going to happen. The only thing that I can do is to make the most of everything and everyday. 
     
     It is getting harder to go back to visit now while I just started my career. Still trying to adjust work life and normal life. 
     I have been working third shift for three months. Boy oh boy, a lot more to learn than nursing school while I thought nursing school was rough. Since I did not have any experience before, I ask all kinds of questions from the very very basic ones to ok ones. I believe I have grown a lot in the past three months. However, this is a long journey. You never know what kind of assignments you will get each time. Every night is a different story. But I like my job and my coworkers. It takes time to get to know people, job, and the job environment. 
    Remember? I did not even know what diarrhea/nausea (sorry for the gross example) was in English 3 years ago even it's a very common word, even maybe a grade school kid knows. For sure I didn't know what situation that I got myself into when I decided to do nursing here. But, it's such a great experience to have. Making life long friends through nursing school, learning the medical culture and knowledge, and challenging myself make this experience so worthy. I am very thankful for my families and friends who have always encouraged me throughout these years. 
    Sometimes when people are me how my job is going, I always wonder if they really care. lol. It is just a culture thing I guess. People are nice to ask, but don't really care about the answers. Question like "how are you doing," people don't expect true answers. Maybe we are just too busy or to nice. I have become more Americanized. I do realize that I do this too. It is just a nice thing to ask I guess. Real friends do care though. 
    One of my American friends mentioned things like these before. He said Chinese takes things so serious. He said "let's do lunch sometime" to his Chinese friends. His friends would keep asking when and would make sure this lunch thing happen. But here, when people say "let's go grab a cup of coffee" or "let's have lunch together." lol, who knows it's actually gonna happen. True story, one of my friends have said to meet up for coffee or do lunch for over almost 2 years by now and it hasn't happened yet. LOL. 
    Pretty soon I will be starting my 6th year here in this country. It's so incredible to think how long I have been here, how much I have learned, and how much more I still need to learn. Let's see what the future holds for us. Just one step at a time and make the most of everything and everyday. 

Saturday, April 4, 2015

I AM A NURSE!!!

   OH MY GOODNESS!
   I finally became a registered nurse! This is for real. RN, BSN. Seriously, for this look like simple title, I worked so hard for this, just like every single nurse.
   Clearly remembering how I exactly felt 8am yesterday--shaky, nervous, and blank mind. I was so scared to find out how I did because I didn't want to see "fail" again on the result like the last time. Whatever happened happened. With my shaky hands clicking the computer, I saw "pass" on my result. ARE YOU SERIOUS?!!?!?!? I had to look so many times to make sure that's a "pass" instead of "fail." It sounds like I was totally went crazy. I screamed so hard that I was afraid the neighbor was gonna come to knock on the door. BUT I PASSED?! Seriously, after the exam, I sat at the test center parking lot for an hour to calm down.
   So for RN board--NCLEX, it's an adaptive exam. It's minimum question is 75 and maximum is 265. Time length is 6 hours. For my first time back in February, I had 265 questions and I was there for 6 hours. Boy oh boy, that wasn't the greatest feeling in the world. I couldn't focus any more when I figured out that I couldn't have enough time to finish the whole exam. Basically, I had approximately 30 seconds for the last 60 questions. I just randomly picked whatever because I couldn't even have enough time to read the questions. Man, that was so wrong. Of course I felt horrible after sitting there for 6 hours clicking whatever answers. So then I spent another month of studying after I failed the first time.
   Lots of my classmates passed the first time and already had worked for a month as nurses. Thinking about it, it's a little bit bitter. But I comforted myself by saying that if I passed the first time, I would be too genius. It becomes extra tough when English becomes as my second language and medical terms as third language. Simple common terms like "nausea" or "diarrhea", I didn't know what they mean in English 2 years ago. It's embarrassing to ask simple questions like these. And of course, this will never ends. I am about to start new chapter of my life. I am sure it will be difficult and rough to work as a nurse in the medical field with language barrier. HOWEVER, it's not impossible. Didn't I just pass the ridiculous nursing board? :) Work hard and work harder. Things are possible.
  Anyway, I am SOOOOO thankful that I finally passed. No more occupying Starbucks or other coffee shops for hours and hours with only a cup of coffee. :P
  So now I need to jump into the job market to find myself a job. Other than that, I am gonna read the entire Harry Potter again. Feeling beyond happy that I can read something else now! woot woot!